HARRY POTTER FOOLS CONTEST full title inside
by Rurouni05
Summary: One shot. You are automatically put in a Harry Potter contest, but once you see the prize, you'll wish you had never been enterd.


Hello ppl! Okay, let me just tell you this right now! If you are looking for a Harry Potter romance or a drama that is beautiful and makes you want to cry- This really isn't the right story! Basically this story is a Harry Potter contest that all First-years got entered in automatically when they were invited to come to Hogwarts. I wrote it for my friends on April fools day and that's where the name comes from. It doesn't really have a plot (it's not long enough to have a plot) and it's really just supposed to be funny and stupid. It's really short so just read it and see what you think!  
  
THE HARRY POTTER APRIL FOOL CONTEST THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO WIN BECAUSE IT IS TORTURE AND A WASTE OF TIME!!  
  
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Dear Reader,  
  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed list of all necessary books and equipment.  
  
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later that July 31.  
  
Yours sincerely,  
  
Minerva McGonagall,  
  
Deputy Headmistress  
  
Dear Reader,  
  
We at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would also like to inform you that you have been chosen out of the many First-year students, to go on a luxury cruise to the Bahamas with the famous Harry Potter himself and Lord Voldemort. The two have recently joined forces and have decided to rid the world of all of the mud-blood filth and kindly enough, they have promised not to harm you until the cruise is over. Once you have reached Honalulu, you will be joined by seven of Lord Voldemorts' many faithful death-eaters. They have not made any promises. This amazing ship is equipped with everything you need for a comfortable and fun stay. You will enjoy skiing, swimming in the ocean, mountain climbing, caving, and much much MUCH more! There will be live shows every night put on especially for you by some of the most famous witches and wizards of the age. This outstanding ship has more than two hundred rooms all built for your use.  
  
After the cruise, (if you are not already dead) you will be toured around the Hogwarts grounds by none other that Draco Malfoy. He will unwillingly bring you to ever room in the castle that he is allowed to enter, and more. Along with the tour, Malfoy must teach you some of the basics of defense against the dark arts and he, like the death-eaters, has not made any promises. On the contrary, he says that he wishes for your death, so be very cautious. He is a skilled wizard... and you will probably have no chance.  
  
After you and Malfoy say your goodbyes, you may enter the great hall and have a huge feast made by our house elves. After you are done with your meal, make sure you thank Dobby. He is really the only elf that cares whether you enjoy the food or not.  
  
When you are done eating, Prof, Dumbledore himself will answer any questions about magic that you might have, including seeing what certain spells feel like and tasting various potions. You can even try out flying! I don't think it would be too wise of you to actually drink potions he gives to you though... trust no one!  
  
Our final attraction will really blow you away! You, yes you, get to meet me! That's right, I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will personally come and tell you everything that you may wish to learn about myself. As you might already know, I have already written many books and won countless awards because of my bravery and strength. My long, long list of awards include Order of Merlin, Third class, Honorary member of the dark force defense league, and 5 time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award. "But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" My favorite color is Lilac and my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between magic and non-magic people, "though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhisky!" You would already know that if you had read two of my personal favorite books, Year with the Yeti and Wanderings with Werewolves carefully enough. If you buy one of my many books, I will even sign it for you. You may also take some photos with me that I can sign as well. I hope that you realize that the time you spend with me, is probably the time that you will enjoy yourself the most! I am great company and I am rich and famous! You will never forget that laughs and excitement we will have together! Because I planned this whole thing, you will spend a whole, fun filled, three days with me! I know, exciting, isn't it?! Because of how important I am to the magical community, this will probably be on the news and in the radio. Hey, you're famous! Not nearly as famous as me of course, but maybe someday you will be as well known as I was when I was a kid. Never give up on your ambitions. I didn't, and now I am more popular than anyone could ever hope to be! As I told young Mr. Potter once, fame is a fickle thing! Because of my advice, Harry became even more well known... because of me!  
  
The Hogwarts School hopes that you will decide to join us, and if you do, we hope that you enjoy and have the best time of your life! *twitch*  
  
Siencierly the one and the only,  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart  
  
Order of Merlin, Third class, Honorary member of the dark force defense league, Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award  
  
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Okay! If you think this was really really stupid then you can flame it! I know I will probably get a lot of them- It is kind of over the top- Any wayz I hope you liked it! It's a one shot, but if I get enough reviews I'll make another chapter! Don't be mad at me!!!  
  
Please Review!!  
  
~Allyssa~ 


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